Tuesday, May 8, 2012

An Open Letter to Green Onions

Dear Green Onion,
  Nothing annoys me in my kitchen more than wasting food. This feeling has been passed down from my grandmother who thought nothing of cutting the mold off of cheese and serving it to my friends visiting after school (one time she mentioned this fact after we ate the cheese sandwiches, oh yes, she really did). I may not be able to smell, but you and I don't really get along too well. It's pretty obvious when you start to knock on death's door. Your green ends go yellow, your white tips turn brown and you start to emit liquids that I didn't know you had. You turn ugly fast, Green Onion.
  I've talked about some of the usual suspects that meet their demise in my fridge. But Green Onion you really take the cake (oh, if only I could put you into cake!). You pretend to be fancy by using a pseudonym like Scallion, but we all know who you really are. I resent the way you come packaged in bunches of ten like we could always use an extra one of you. I don't want more than five or six at at time, yet you put yourself out there like we want more of you. Don't even get me started on how Trader Joe's manages to put in nearly 15 green onions into one package. There was a time when I would scour books trying to plan a week's worth of meals around one measly package of green onions and it never worked. I'd start with a spinach feta quiche (six green onions gone!), then I'd do a stir fry (three green onions gone!) and then I'd lose steam and watch the remaining green onions wither away into a liquidy green mess.
  But not anymore, Green Onion. You will not break me. You will no longer be left at the bottom of my veggie drawer waiting for a turn in the compost bin, I'll leave that to the marscapone cheese and sour cream. I managed to find three recipes which used every green onion in the bunch this week and you will not be wasted for once.

Can you believe I just wrote three paragraphs about green onions? It's a slow week, people.

Sunday: Orzo Cucumber salad (three green onions)

Monday: Black Bean Tostadas with corn relish (two green onions)

Tuesday: Pollo ala Cacciatore (six green onions)

Afraid No More

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